The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
