New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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