I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
