i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
