YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
