she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
