yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
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