put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am midnight drunk by noon
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
