This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
