Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
