these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
