mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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