he thought i was a dude.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
