Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
