I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
