Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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