I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
