I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
