And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
