I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
