what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
