i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
