this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
