just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
