She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
