so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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