So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
