Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Semen is not good for contacts.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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