i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
