he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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