Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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