Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
