i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
