I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
