im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
