is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
