Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
there was a trapeze. enough said
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
