Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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