I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
