This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We have started to decorate penises.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
