That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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