I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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