There is no way he is gay with that hair.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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