It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
