I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
