considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Come see our sink grown plant.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
