Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
