You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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