I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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