Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
